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RECOVERY FROM PORNOGRAPHY & SEXUAL ADDICTION!
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SUGGESTIONS FOR ECCLESIASTICAL LEADERS continued
I believe that it is helpful to understand what research has verified over and over again when counseling those
with addiction problems. Confrontational counseling has been associated with high dropout rates and relatively
poor outcomes. Many begin the confession process by testing the waters by making a partial confession as to the
extent of the problem. If a person picks up that the leader is responding in a harsh and critical way, it is
likely that they may shut down. I have had many clients report to me that this is what they did because they
didn't feel safe. They began the confession process but then quickly shut down because they picked up how
disappointed, shocked or disgusted their leader was with them.
The power of healing is strongly influenced by interpersonal interactions. Four important and research verified
conditions that can help prepare the way for natural change are:
Empathy
Understanding
Warmth
Genuineness
Empathy has been called the defining principle in any therapeutic relationship. It is a term loosely used in
therapy circles, but what does it really mean? One definition (Webster's) is: the capacity for participation
in another's feelings or ideas. Another definition of empathy is: the capacity to think and feel oneself into
the inner life of another person. In a very real sense the one true master of empathy would be the Savior
Himself because it was He who took upon Himself our individual sins and weaknesses.
He is the only one that is uniquely qualified to really understand on a personal level where an individual is
at and what would help them the most at that particular time. Leaders are thus called upon to seek wisdom
beyond their own when meting out Justice and Mercy according to individual needs. Also, prearranged and fixed
blanket punishments without room for personalization may not only result in partial confession but the confessor
may shy away altogether fearful that a punishment has already been allotted. Penitence, progression and
circumstances vary with each individual.
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